Rational Anchor of Truth

The last blog discussed emotions being like clouds and how, if we practice acceptance of them, allowing them to just be, that we can increase our inner peace. Well that is all good and fine, but I am sure that you are thinking, "How in the heck am I supposed to weather an intense storm, like a hurricane?!" So glad you asked! The answer is that you need what I call a rational anchor of truth. This can keep you grounded in the midst of a storm that is attempting to pick you up and blow you all around, beating you up along the way, leaving you wrecked and feeling broken.

A rational anchor of truth is something that is factual and hopeful, that you can cling to in the midst of emotional turmoil.

Here are a few examples:

I desperately love my husband. I am also a fiery redhead, with lots of, let's say passionate (some may say extreme) emotions. The result of this is that from time to time, in a state of feeling livid over something he has done (possibly loading the dishwasher completely incorrectly), I begin to believe that the only answer for my emotional state is (logically) to get divorced. Right?! So, when this happens, I am in it and I start fully planning my new life, being the working single mother of three young kids. Panic begins to set in! So now I have full on fury and panic screaming from every pore in my body! I use my rational anchor of truth being: that I have felt like this before, and he doesn't even have a clue (sorry, honey 😘), because an hour later, he does something great, and I am desperately in love again. So instead of allowing rage and fear take hold and express themselves in a self-destructive manner, I grab onto my anchor of truth and hold on for dear life while the storm dies down.

Now, for more serious examples:

When facing debilitating words of shame that we heap onto ourselves when encountering a trigger; anxiety and that sick feeling threaten to take over and drown us in their misbeliefs. This shame can lie to us and tell us that we are not worthy and are irrevocably screwed up. The rational anchor of truth here can be the recognition of being truly loved by someone in your life, who is safe and most likely loved by you as well. Or if unforeseen events cause us to feel terrified of our future; we can become covered with despair and hopelessness. We can cling to the rational anchor of truth that we can look backwards at our lives and know that if we have lived through all of those trials, surely we can survive this, as well.

by Jennifer Yaeger, LPC, CPCS, CMAC